Friday, July 30, 2010

Status Report

Our men cracked the password. For those of you who are still tuning in, here is the report. Best you hear it from me than from someone else:


As of July 23rd, the warehouse building is inactive. Late in the night, a large fire tore through the building and destroyed 85% of its equipment. The remainder of the building is heavily damaged. From what we have seen, there was a fight of a large scale before the fire started.


Two bodies were pulled out of the warehouse, heavily burned. Through DNA testing and medical examination, we discovered the identities:

Albert Conaghan- Forensic specialists found three bullets lodged in the victim's chest, fired from what appears to be a 9mm handgun. The weapon has not yet been found. Medical specialists say he was dead before the fire started, likely from the aforementioned wounds.

Eric Riley- Body was found with one bullet in its stomach, this one a .44 magnum slug. The gun in question was found several feet from where the first body lay; the weapon is too burned to pry fingerprints off it, though experts are still attempting to. Medical specialists claim that he bled out while awaiting rescue.


The cause of the blaze is still unknown. Fire officials are still on sight for examination.





The exact whereabouts and condition of Ezekiel Strahm are currently unknown. It is likely he is somewhere among the rubble, but at this time we do not have definite knowledge.

During investigation of his house, we discovered a corpse hidden in his garage. The body suffered a devastating shotgun blast to the chest; time of death estimates to no more than a month ago. A weapon that would cause this wound was found in Strahm's house, the barrel indeed looking as though it had bee fired.

Because of this, and because of the possibility of him being behind the deaths of both Mr. Conaghan and Mr. Riley, Strahm is now considered a wanted felon. A warrant has been put out for his arrest, and operatives are hunting him down. If anyone has any knowledge of his whereabouts, please come forward immediately.

We understand that he has promised a tape of his exploits. As of now, we are still searching for this tape, although I am curious as to whether it exists. At best, it is probably too burned to be of any use, but time will tell.

Please do not leave any questions for me, as I will not be returning to answer them. Take the facts for what they are, and if anyone knows where Ezekiel Strahm can be found, speak up immediately.

Thank you for your time.

-Agent Fisk


  1. -______________________________________-


  2. Fuck the FBI, are they incapable of suspecting the right people ever?
    This is why the police hate the FBI, because the FBI can't do anything that involves more than a stupid logical leap when it comes to investigation.

  3. You can go fuck yourself. I'm not talking. Zeke is innocent, and alive. But I'm not talking. Go fuck yourself.

  4. *Sigh* FBI Dude is an idiot- He Should check back on this journal... He might learn something... On second thought, thats not a good idea.

    ... What worries me is this- Who's the guy who was killed with the shotgun?

    Lastly: Lets Hope Zeke is alive and well... and not in the hands of... well, you know.

  5. I'm thinking maybe somebody tripped Zeke's shotgun while they were trying to break in or something. Occam's Razor. Makes sense - invading the home of someone under nightly siege from Him is generally a bad idea. However, it does raise the disturbing possibility... how much of what Zeke saw was actually the machinations of tall, dark and handsome friend? Fuck knows what Zeke did in his paranoia and delusions under the belief he was fighting a greater threat...

    I'm being pessimistic again. Zeke - if you're reading this, you're a fucking hero. Keep going. Keep fighting, if you need to. I used to be afraid he'd come for me, but now? Not so much. You've given us all hope. And though there might be skeptics, nobody can deny Conaghan was a monster, and it seems he's gotten what he deserved, at least.

    Just be keep your head clear and be careful out there, wherever you may be. Good luck, mate.

  6. Zeke, I know you're reading this, keep fighting, we're all behind you. Just evade the feds and run to Mexico until this all blows over, you're still safe for now, but you won't be if they catch you.

    Stay safe, watch your back, don't do anything stupid and don't fuck up!

    ..... We believe in you...


  7. Noooo! Zeke does not have disassociative identities. No way...He's too strong to let SM have that kind of hold on him. We know you're innocent, Zeke!

  8. I know where he is... He's at your mom's house bangin her.

  9. Zeke Strahm waited. The flames above him blinked and sparked out of the air. Slenderman was in the warehouse. He didn't see him, but had expected him now for days. His warnings to the Cheif were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
    Zeke was a police officer for many years. When he was young he watched the patrol cars and he said to dad "I want to be in the cars, daddy!"
    Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY SLENDERMAN"
    There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the warehouse of Conaghan he knew there was Slenderman.
    "This is the Cheif" the radio crackered. "You must fight the Slenderman!"
    So Zeke gotted his 9mm and opened up the door.
    "HE GOING TO KILL US" said Conaghan
    "I will shoot at him" said Slenderman and he fired the tentacles. Zeke shot at him and tried to kill him. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
    "No! I must kill Slenderman!" he shouted
    Erik said "No, Zeke. You are the Slenderman!"
    And then Zeke was Slenderman.

  10. Then I was all like "There's Just No Waaaaaaaay"

    Zeke's alive and kickin' ass Duke Nukem style.

  11. It would be very interesting to know the identity of the corpse. Zeke didn't have many friends. I wonder who came to his house.

  12. (*obvious Metal Gear joke here*)

    Zeke, if you read this post, I am sorry for all the troble Slenderman has caused. Yet if you are still alive, do what you should have done way back. I mean, you said it best:
    "Make that fucker work for his food."
    Slendy always wins. Change that. Show him the pain he caused everyone. For all our sakes.

  13. No, Mike, he's right, we don't have any great love of the FBI, always poking their noses in places they have no business to.

    Zeke, go kick that fucker in the face for me, we'll all keep fighting.

  14. I find it hilarious how many of you actually bought into this. At first I assumed most of the comments were just alternate accounts of whoever decided to write this blog, just to give it more credibility. I never bothered looking into if they were actual people, though. Once he hooked a few people in, then they just started pouring in. Has anyone looked up to see if any of this is real? If two girls and a young man had actually gone missing? If a female detective was found dead in a warehouse? If there actually IS anyone named Ezekiel Strahm, and if this warehouse fire happened within the week of this post? Does no one else feel that we're just being trolled? I admit there were a few times in the blog's timeline I felt a little paranoid, like Slenderman was real, but now I'm just laughing it up. This all seems like a big hoax to me, just like MarbleHornets. As for the other youtube accounts and blogs, I haven't read them, but I still doubt the existence of Slenderman. Just like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and magic, there is NO SUCH THING as Slenderman. Just as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were made to bring hope, solace, and happiness to children, someone created Slenderman as a way to take away that hope, solace, and happiness. It's all a crock of shit, and if you actually have fallen for this bullshit, you're a large part of the reason why I have lost faith in my generation, and society.

  15. LazloZania,
    you moron, we all know it's fake. It's for the sake of realism and trying to make it seem genuine. You're a serious moron. Really. How can you be this idiotic. I-I am almost speechless at your stupidity.

  16. At MY stupidity? You dare call my intelligence into question when you went along with this charade? What point is there to making it seem genuine, other than to scare people.

  17. I... really, Lazlo? You call people stupid because they're playing along with something that is a GAME?

    You don't understand the concept of "Alternate Reality Gaming", do you?

    Just like MarbleHornets, this was an ARG. Just like every other Slenderblog out there, this was an ARG. So yes, we call your own intelligence into question because honestly you're kind of a fucking retard for thinking people actually believed this when they were merely playing along with what is nothing more, and never will be more, than just a game. Yes, there are people who actually think Slenderman is real. But the people here? Merely people who have an interest in ARGs. Which is exactly what this blog was.

  18. Lazlo, just go commit suicide. Save the world from your own idiocy. Please, for the children's sake. And if you don't listen, then at the most, don't breed.

  19. I hope this ARG isn't canceled because of your BS internet drama.

  20. nothing will come of anything.

    the angel of death has come for him. we can only hope that he merely played with his organs a bit.

  21. :I

    I wonder if this is where the angel of death idea for Slenderman originated.


  23. I fucking knew this X person was suspicious... He kept quite and here's a fucking blog from him...

  24. Hey. What the f***. I just saw Zeke the other day.

  25. I just started and finished reading this today and the ending was well played. It took me a couple of seconds to get the Agent Fisk thing. You mentioned you, Strahm, were a SAW fan but I didn't think you'd end it like that. Well played indeed.

    Disregarding that and going for the in-story content, if there is one. I believe Fisk becomes the new victim. Just like Strahm went to find Al, Fisk will search for Strahm. It's a never-ending cycle and Slenderman just gets more victims. That is if Slendy was ever involved in the first place. Good stuff though.

  26. I don't plan on catching you, dear gingerbread man. Why would I want to reach for something so plainly deranged? Deranged things aren't very safe to be around, you know.

    There seems to be a lot of people who would love to gnaw on you, though. Hoho.

  27. Agent Fisk, I believe I have a status update on the whereabouts of Ezekiel Strahm. I was going around getting signatures for a petition in my small home-town in Indiana. I was asking everyone to sign, even bums. There was one bum who was just really off... I can't explain how, either. He signed the petition, in a scrawling handwriting that can barely be read, as Ezekiel Strahm. I immediately shredded the document and burned it.

    If you're truly looking for him, start in Indiana.

  28. runrunasfAsTasyOucaNyouCanTcatchMEimthEginGerbrEaDMan

  29. Zeke, if you can still read this blog, if you're still in possession of your faculties, please stay strong. You're the only one to fight Him and survive. Stay safe.

    And be careful.

  30. Please contact me Zeke(Mystic), I(Sage) have information and -queries- about your encounter with /Construct/ and possibilities for further combat tactics. Also, need to speak to someone who hasn't considered to commit /Act of Despair./

  31. Just die, you pathetic idiot.

  32. Whoa. Heavy stuff bro.

  33. So, Billyboy's gone? Int-er-est-ing! I've been studying the S-man for months, and not een a scratch!

  34. Who's Fisk? I'm sure I heard that name somewhere.

  35. Fucking retarded. It's the FBI Agent!

  36. holy carp, Zeke updated again, so whats this mean? My first thought is the three Sages...

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  40. The Three Sages:

    Sorry, wrote some wierd bullshit back there. just Ignore it, or something...

  41. Don't know if you even still check this blog, but I wrote a song for you.

    Hope you like it.

  42. Zeke posted on M's Tutorial, seems fine

  43. you know, I just about mentioned something that most of you might want to hear, but I also remember now that this blog is probably still being watched. lol!

  44. Norman Jayden is a character in a video game called Heavy Rain

  45. Wasn't there a mention of Norman Jayden in one of EverymanHYBRID's usteams?

    Nice song, Hosozukuri. Really liked it.

  46. Again, I'm rather late to the party. I'm not buying this whole FBI thing. Anyone else think this Fisk fellow may be the next Conaghan?

  47. This is Sad to hear. We agreed with Zeke's theories more than anyone's. He proved that he did not wear the name "detective", but sincerely earned it. Though, he did mention that one of his other guns went off at his home and never mentioned it again. Though, I could have missed something, we are all prone to mistakes.

    Hear you soon, zeke.

  48. Ha, I was Just saying That that little EH stunt reminded me of your exploits. Glad to see you agree.

  49. Well, I'm certainly late to this party. XD But I'm happy to see Zeke's able to keep up with the goings-on of the other targeted people in this mess. Keep fighting the good fight, Mr. Strahm! Here's hoping you and the other pursued parties can keep our faceless friend on the run.

  50. Never give up the fight, Strahm. I know you're out there. I know you survived.

    Never give up.

  51. Shit. I finally catch up and what awaits me? Friggen death.

    You better be still alive Zeke. Your too badass to go down. And there are a few more posts.

  52. he's alive, you know, started a new blog called 'The Mystic'

  53. what is the blog URL? I can't find it!

  54. Some bad shit went down. I'm pretty sure Zeke is still alive but I gotta keep reading.

    Alec Pusay, thank you so much for interjecting some much needed comedy into such a serious situation.

    Here's hoping Slendy comes for LazloZania... ;)

  55. When cuts wont heal and bones wont mend,
    All great stories must come to an end.

    Tooth and nail, Ezekiel Strahm.

    Tooth and Nail.

  56. This is some of the best I've read. To Zeke, keep fighting; to the author, the same.

    On a related note, I've noticed that many of the Slendyblogs I have heard mentioned with raving accolades were removed from their respective websites. Do any of you fellow commenters know of a good site where some of these old ARGs might be archived?

  57. Zeke. My name is Rachael, I've been doing research on Slendy for quiet some time now. I live in Notheren Georgia in a heavily wooded area, about 130 acres in all. Also it's completely and utter the best place for Der Ritter/ Slenderman. I'll tell you that I have seen him before, and I haven had any trouble...Yet. But here how it happened. I was in my room reading some information on slenderman, when I got the stragest feeling I was being watched. I felt this being pressing down on me, I got up and padded to my window. Over looking the front lawn and a saw mill that was used to make the house that I live in now, I saw him. Der Ritter him self in the flesh looking towards me his blank face turned upwards at my window. I stared t him my face tight and calm. I wasn't scared, because I knew he could mostly sense the fear that I could send to him if I got scared. I looked straight at him and said calmly and comandingly," you're not welcome here Der Ritter." and raised my hand in a wave, to my surprise he raised his hand back to me. And the dissappeared. Thats my only experience with him. I haven't Had any problems with forgetting things or odd behavior. But sometimes I get that strange feeling again pressing down on me. Honestly I hate Der Ritter even though he fascinates me. I know you're out there Zeke I know you need help. I'm here to offer my support, and trust for slender mans torture to be over. May you find your way home and finally be able to get rid of Slenderman.

    1. rachael, zeke, the same thing is happening to me as to what happended to you rachael and well, I'm scared, i swear to god i saw him this morningnand i am as paranoid as hell. I'm always looking behind me and i always feel like I'm being watched. i dont know what to do?!?! i was just currious, i didn't want it to happen to me but i didn't know.... please if you have any advice please tell me, email me at if you can. hope to hear from you soon...


    2. rachael, zeke. asta. call me gary and crow im not sure of it yet but i think the slender man is watching me im only 15 but im scared, not of dying but what this fucker will do to me if he gets me, the reason i would like you to call me crow is because at a young age i created another personality he was named crow, but any ways i think he is watching me and i dont think im crazy here please help me in any way you can ill try to help you if i can and ill try and keep in touch with you three.

  58. Son of a biscuit, that was not the ending I wanted. :( Someone said this writer continues the story? :O Tasha away!

    To the author: Thank you for keeping me entertained for the last 24 hours. You're very good, and your work was definitely a masterpiece. Thank you again, author!