Getting My Head Back On Straight

It's amazing what you come to realize once you take your mind out of the bottle and get out of the house for a few hours.

This afternoon I took off for a walk, not really caring where I was going. Maybe I was hoping I would walk off and disappear from the world...I don't really remember now. But before I knew it, my feet- and it was MY feet, and no one else's influence, I'm sure of that- had led me into the woods. And I wasn't sure at first where exactly I was, or how my feet had taken me out this far, but then I relaxed when I saw that familiar two-story house in the middle of nowhere.

Yeah, that's right. My walk had taken me to Victoria Krell's house.

It's empty now. Her mom took off back in May, ran away with some trucker, or so we heard. I guess she figured we'd never find her daughter, so her drunken ass took off with the first man she came across. If I had thought it had been shabby before, now it really looked forlorn. Leaves were clogging up the gutter, the windows were dirty, and there was a hole in the roof, probably caused by a raccoon, that I'm sure had not been there the last time we were there.

Last time we were there...back when all of this first started...

I stared at the house, and inside I felt a deep feeling of regret. We should have found that girl. We should have found her, and Jessica, and poor Sam. They should all be home now, Victoria arguing with her mom, Jessica with her boyfriend on a Friday night, and Sam skateboarding with his friends. School's been out for a couple of weeks for them; they should be home enjoying it, not wherever they are now. They didn't deserve this. They were just kids. They didn't do anything wrong.

And then I started feeling angry. None of us deserved this. I went three months trying so hard to be their protector, but now I'm just like them- a victim. How the fuck did this happen? Now they're gone, and the world has moved on and forgotten them and I'm all that's left, all that is there to try and make sense of it. It's not fair. It's just not fair...

He's not fair.

And it's time I start doing something about it. I'm done just talking about it. I want Him...no, I want him dead. I'm talking about ripping his arms off and beating him to death with them. I'm talking about sticking my foot so far up his ass my shoe imprint gives him facial features. I'm talking stone cold, bury him six feet under dead.

And I'm going to do it.

I haven't responded to comments, but I have read. For those of you giving up on me, go right ahead. World needs plenty of hate. For those who still try to encourage, I thank you. I'm not the easiest guy to get along with, and I don't intend to change who I am, but...well, thanks, I guess.

But the consensus is the same: opening the door. I want to know what's behind it too, because I'm fairly certain it's someONE instead of someTHING. And someONE means there's a survivor, and I don't know how much time they have left.

But I can't just barge in.

Look at it this way: if you were a special forces team on a mission to retrieve a captured soldier, do you just go in guns blazing with no plan other than to run and gun and wing it? No, you don't. That just results in getting the whole team killed. You get your intel, you map the area, you make a plan, and THEN you go in.

I've got the plan, and I've got the map. What I don't have, though, is the intel.

I need to fully know what I'm up against. I need to know Slender Man, inside and out. I don't want to just go in there and be in way over my head. I need to know what I'm up against.

That's where you come in.

I've got a few sites that Lizzie was looking up, but they all pretty much say the same thing. I can find out the basics on my own. But I need to bring it deeper than that. And I know a few of you are into this Slender Man stuff like it's your job, so...

I need to find the blogs. There has to be others out there, like me, like Logan Renault, who are going through something like this. Some may just be games, some may be the real thing...I don't know. But I need to find them, and I need to see what they've gone through. Maybe they have something the experts have missed.

There has to be a way to take him down. There has to be something I missed. I need to see if it's out there.

I know it's a bit of a request, coming from me...and I don't doubt anyone who turns away from my request, but if you won't help me, point me in the direction I need to go. I'm a detective. I do my job based off the clues and the evidence presented to me. I think these blogs may help me do that.

So please, help me...because I want to get this son of a bitch.