Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Lizzie's Making Me Do This...

Lizzie said that a blog was supposed to be talking about me, not my casework. Since I've never been one for posting myself out for the world to see, she thinks the idea of keeping an online journal is beyond my comprehension. No, it's not; I just think it's fucking stupid.

I'm not the kind of guy you'd want to hang out in a bar with. I'm not the kind of guy you'd watch the game with after a hard day's work. I'm certainly not the kind of guy you'd let fuck your sister. No, I'm the kind of guy you'd take one look at and go to your friend, “Wow, that guy's a dick.”

Yup. I'm that guy.

I'm twenty-six, yes, I know that's young for a detective. I basically went in right after college, did my schtick with the academy, got accepted into the investigations department, and now here I am. My partner's six years older than me, never bothered me except when she acts like my mother. Which isn't often, but it does happen.

I had my friends in high school, and that was all I needed. People tend to annoy me; once you hit past the thirty second mark, I have to get as far away from them as possible. And my reasoning for it is the same reason that ole' George Carlin used to give; I have a low tolerance for people and their stupid bullshit.

I'm good at my job. Coming off a life that most would consider “weird” but what I considered normal (dark clothing, punk music, a general idea of what teenagers go through on a daily basis), I like to think I have a keen intuition whenever I'm on a case involving teenagers. Since I'm still fairly young, I still have a bit of their psyche archived in my brain. Teenagers are easier to handle than adults. All you got to do is treat them carefully. Though with this girl, it'd be hard to say. Haven't seen anything like these drawings before.

My partner Lizzie's the kind of girl that can argue with you for hours on end and yet still greet you with a smile and a good morning the next day. She's a blonde-recently turned-brunette with glasses and still looking pretty good even though she's hitting the “tremulous thirties”, as I like to call them. I think the chief stuck her with me so that I'd get a woman's touch on my thought process, but as long as she doen't boss me around all the time, I'm fine with it. We fight, we flirt, we hang out, we get a bite to eat, we get our work done...maybe have some sex every now and again...it's a good system we've got going. She's my partner, and she's a good partner to have.

She's looking over my shoulder right now and telling me I'm getting off-topic. Put the emphasis on talking about myself instead of her. She did thank me for the compliments, though. Swear to God, you give that girl an inch, and she takes a mile.

Not too much else to say. I'm stubborn and a pain in the ass to deal with. I'm hardworking when I need to be and I'm a slacker the rest of the time. I'd rather fight with someone for hours about something stupid than just sit through another boring movie. Rarely will I ever do a good thing for anyone, unless I see that they absolutely need it. And, like I said before, I have a good understanding with what is probably the most depressing age period a person goes through.

Is that enough? Lizzie says no. Well, fuck it, that's all I'm giving this thing. I'm trying to save a girl's life, not rough draft my autobiography. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some files to look over.


  1. Yo, Zeke, not sure if you're interested in related content, but sounds like you might be having a case of what people are calling 'The Slender Man'?

    Some guy's gone and uploaded a bunch of videos (the earlier entries) that show a lot of the same behavior that you're describing out of Victoria. The later stuff shows the guy getting his butt out of the frying pan and into the fire. Watch 'em any way you want. The earlier ones are all out of order anyways. OR pass it on to Lizzie -- she sounds like she might be interested in this sort of stuff.

    I'm not an authority on this, but one thing I will suggest: you see some jackass wearing a mask, you punch his face in and drag him back to lockup. Will probably save you a whole heck of a lot of trouble down the road. ;)

    Keep us up to date, huh? Truthfully, I agree with you about the blog. If you wanted to vent your feelings, you'd've gotten a livejournal!

  2. Yeah, I've heard the myth. Alien in a suit with fucked-up arms, likes to play Hansel and Gretel with the kids, right?

    Forgive me if I'm not exactly showing enthusiasm at this, but I got enough to worry about here without adding an urban legend to the mix. I'll post more about it later today.

    I'll pass the message along to Lizzie, though. Knowing her, she'll probably find some way of making a big deal out of it :/.

  3. Hey, for all you know, it could just be an internet meme cooked up by a bunch of bored kids. Maybe Victoria was in on it -- seems like whenever someone hears about Slendy, they're eager to contribute their own 'stories'. She could have just wandered off with a video camera and hopes of youtube fame.

  4. She could have, but where would she go? She lives in the middle of a forest, but that doesn't mean she's adept at trapping or gathering food, I doubt she could survive, and with miles of forest in all directions, the only place with internet would be her house. (I forget, did you say she had internet)? Regardless, I doubt she went out to fake her own Slenderman story. Still, keep an eye out because in these crazy times you can never be too sure.

  5. It's only been three or four days. She could have gone out and gotten hurt somehow, maybe she never intended to be gone for this long? I think it's stupid to write this off as a suicide case, though. And even if there's no evidence of car tracks, etc. if someone's been stalking her than why discount that they could have walked up the trail to the house and back? Seven clicks isn't TOO too far to walk. A pain in the butt, yes, but not unmanageable.

  6. That could be the case, but one would think after living in a forest for however many years, she would know to be adequately prepared for anything that might happen, a bag full of first aid materials such as gauze, tape, rubbing alcohol, etc. And no doubt it's not possible, but I at least believe that if the nearest touch of civilization was 7 miles away through a forest, I wouldn't want to walk that, not at 1 AM anyway. That might be just me though.


  8. @ X
    just take a chainsaw and you won't have to worry about the trees. and also stop with thisssssss, you sound like a lord voldemort wannabe.

  9. X is in one of his moods... just let him be and hell go back to giving us nice poems again.